I Thought I’d Have It All Figured Out By Now… I Don’t.

Hey loves,

As an approaching graduate who has felt immense pressure about securing a job after uni, I’ve recently been swimming in confusion about where exactly I’m going in life.

I’ve always had multiple aspirations pulling me in different directions, and to this day, I still do sometimes.

As many of you already know, I come from an African background and to top it off, I’m the firstborn and eldest daughter. So the pressure I feel at times?

It’s unreal.

And I’m not just talking about from my parents. It transcends extended family, I barely even speak to distant aunties and uncles, and even family friends who know me in passing; it’s like everyone has a say. I think it's more so my own perfectionism and fear of failure.

Now that uni is done, I've been committed to working on my organisation and consistency. These are things I’ve struggled with for a while and at one point, I even wondered if I had ADHD. When I raised it with my doctor, she didn’t seem convinced AT ALL.

Regardless, I've been improving on them pretty well and I'm quite chuffed!

Anyways, moving on.

Lately, I’ve been deep in thought, scrolling on TikTok, as you do, and found myself thinking more about the expectations placed on young people today. Especially when it comes to where we’re supposed to be in life.

But here’s the real question: where exactly is that?

I’m a young adult, and for people my age, the paths are looking more different than ever. Some are still in uni, some are graduating and moving back home, job-hunting in real time. Some are launching businesses, some are stepping into grad schemes. Others are getting engaged, some are falling pregnant, planning weddings, dating, exploring, figuring out what love means to them. Some are navigating heartbreaks, processing

grief, or simply trying to keep their heads above water.

So much is happening, all at once. And amid the noise, the comparison, and the chaos, I keep reminding myself, this journey is mine. And I’ve got to move at my own pace.

It’s easier said than done but comparing yourself will literally get you nowhere. All it does is drag your mood, drain your confidence, and make you start questioning things you were once sure of.

These days, I just try to flip it. I look at other people for inspiration instead. Watching how others move, create, and navigate life helps spark something in me. Curiosity is underrated, but it’s a game-changer. Staying curious keeps you open. It gives you room to grow, and I feel like that’s the kind of mindset that takes you far. Even if you don’t know exactly where you’re heading, just being open to learning and doing is enough to keep you moving.

To put it plain and simple, if you’re doing something, anything, that’s pushing you forward, you’re already where you need to be. Just don’t be a bum. Honestly. Nobody likes a bum. Nobody wants to be around one, and definitely no one wants to date one. Let’s just be for real. You don’t need to be at your dream destination right now, but you do need to be in motion. That’s what counts.

Like I mentioned in my last blog, I didn’t get the job I was praying and preparing for. And trust me, it hurt. I started clocking that it wasn’t going to happen, and as much as it broke my heart, I knew I had to pivot.

So I’ve moved back to my home city. I’m taking this time to slow down, reflect, and realign. That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped. It just means I’m approaching things with more intention and I’ve figured out my next steps, which works perfectly well for me. And the best part of this all? Living back home comes way cheaper than living in London, so I’m not mad at it.

Lately, with everything going on around me, I’ve realised something deeper.

Life’s not always going to work out exactly how you pictured it, and that’s okay. Sometimes the plan you had in mind falls through, and you’re forced to pivot. But that’s not failure. That’s redirection. And if you can learn to be okay with that, you’re already winning.

And let’s be honest, in this life, Instagram will finish you if you let it. You’ll be there sipping your tea in your mum’s kitchen, and next thing you know, someone’s posted their “soft life era” with a Prada bag, Maldives in the background, and a LinkedIn update saying they’ve secured a grad role, bought a flat, and found the love of their life , all in one post. It's wild.

But please, don’t let the soft lighting and Pinterest-worthy content fool you. People are really out here stunting. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors, who’s funding what, who’s crying after posting “my best life,” or who’s literally one inconvenience away from a breakdown. Half of it is vibes, filters, and borrowed outfits. No shade, but let’s keep it real.

So when you catch yourself spiralling or thinking, “What am I even doing with my life?” just pause. Breathe. And remember your journey is valid even if it’s not aesthetic. Some of us are in our “figure-it-out” era, and that’s perfectly fine. Slow motion is still motion. You’re allowed to take your time.

“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be complete, lacking nothing.”, James 1:4 (NKJV)

Translation? Don’t rush what God is still writing. Trust the process, even if it’s looking like a plot twist right now.

I’ve been thinking about why so many of us are in this constant rush to “arrive.” To hit milestones. To be seen as successful, or put together, or like we’ve got it all figured out, even when we’re silently screaming inside. And honestly? I think it’s because deep down, everyone’s just trying to feel safe. Like if we can tick enough boxes, collect enough achievements, or reach a certain level, we’ll finally exhale and feel worthy.

But the truth is, there’s no finish line. No point where everything just clicks and stays perfect forever. Life keeps lifeing, and all we can do is keep evolving with it. The pressure to perform, to elevate, to always be “doing amazing, sweetie,” is exhausting. And more time, it’s rooted in fear, fear of being left behind, of not being enough, of disappointing the expectations hanging over us.

So if you’re not moving at lightning speed right now, you’re not behind, you’re human. Take your time, move with purpose, and don’t let the internet rush you. You’re doing better than you think.

With love and curiosity,

Just Jenni