The Sisterhood Standard

Hey loves,

I hope you’re all well!

I’ve been itching to discuss this for a hot minute because I sense this has been one of the gateways to my happiness lately. I’ve been very lucky to experience this one thing abundantly over these last few months. Especially since I’ve been navigating the ups and downs of life, so having it there has been so reassuring.

This thing that I’m talking about is called girlhood.

I’ve taken the time to reflect deeply before writing this, ensuring it comes straight from the heart. If I could, I’d talk about this endlessly, as it’s such a multifaceted topic.

So…the dictionary describes girlhood as ‘the state or time of being a girl’.

I’m going to critique that.

Personally, I think that definition is too shallow and dismissive of what girlhood REALLY is.

I interpret girlhood as something profound, intricate and fulfilling. It’s valuable, and I’ve come to internalise it a lot.

Your girls are the ones who stand by you during your lowest moments and celebrate with you in your happiest. When no one else seems to care about something you’re deeply passionate about, but they show genuine interest and enthusiasm, that’s when you know they’re keepers. They’re intentional in their actions, uplifting and supporting you in your hobbies and everything beyond that, just as you do for them. It’s a mutual exchange of care and encouragement. 

The people who truly matter in your girlhood experience will always be the ones who genuinely care.

They’ll be the ones to ask you what’s up, even when you are feeling completely fine.

They’ll be the ones to include you in plans or invite you randomly to places and say, ‘Let’s go’.

They’ll be your confidants.

I perceive girlhood as being a safety net, a place where you can be vulnerable with your best friends and enter your own secret bubble of emotional intimacy. Sometimes, it’s also about letting your friend know how you’re truly feeling, a feeling not everyone else would understand or know from an outside POV.

This ties into the point I just made about girlhood being a safety net - your close friends will empathise with you and stand by your side, whereas someone you're not as close to might simply see you as an ordinary person who’s just 'fine'.

This is where the varying thresholds of friendship intimacy come into play. However, I don’t want to stray from the main topic I came here to discuss.

We’re all developing, transforming, blossoming and learning; it’s a normal part of everyone’s life. Having fruitful and enjoyable relationships with people around you, particularly your girls, is what can give you that extra boost you didn’t even know you needed. You can support one another and make the challenging journey of navigating life much smoother.

That brings me to my next point: as friends, where possible, we should try to help make things easier for our girls where it’s within our control. I mean this in an emotional, spiritual and even physical sense.

Let me break it down – when one of my friends may be feeling a bit under the weather because of something they’re going through, for instance, I’ll ensure my ears are wide open. I’m always available to listen if they want to talk about it.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Is there anything I can do to make things more manageable?”

“Let’s grab food” are examples of things I might say to them. Sometimes, you might not need to say anything because your friend just wants your presence. You might even want to hug them.

There are many different communication strategies I juggle between my different friends, and I tailor specific ones that work for the type of relationship we have. It’s a learning curve, to be honest with you.

I get them, and they get me.

It’s a union.

During my friend’s times of despair, joy, grief, and excitement, you name all the different emotions – I pray for them too. When I’m conversing with God, I’ll tell him, “Father…” and tell Him whatever it is that I have in mind.

Recently, I heard one of my friends lead Bible study, and she was so inspirational. I was awed by her knowledge and how meticulously she relayed information. I’m sure when she reads this, she’ll know who she is, but wow, she’s amazing.

Her teaching me new things… another example of girlhood.

She wanted to share her knowledge and grace me with it, that’s love.

And that kind of love is what I call girlhood.

It's the big AND small things.

Girlhood can be sitting on the bed, chatting shit about your exes and laughing at them.

Girlhood can be sharing one another’s lip combos and ensuring you look flawless for your night out.

Girlhood can be as simple as sending each other TikToks every day and cackling behind your phone screens at one another's inside jokes.

It’s subjective, so however you perceive it and however you prefer it, stick to what works best for you.

I don’t mean to sound overly sentimental, but it’s such a powerful thing. Hold onto it tightly and thank God for blessing you with your people. It won’t always be easy - you might have to let people go, bring others in, set boundaries, or create distance to shape your ideal group, but that’s okay. That’s life, and it’s all part of the process. As the saying goes, what’s meant for you won’t pass you by, and if you have the right people now, trust that they’re with you for the long run.

With the Christmas season approaching, keep working hard, remain focused, pray lots and keep safe. 🩷

With love and curiosity,

Just Jenni